He's my best friend, the love fo my life, if I believed in soulmates, he'd probably be it. It's ugly, it's toxic and it's brutal. I never come out unscathed, never enough to let go entirely, but how much abuse can two people take from eachother? I want to break him into a thousand pieces, but be the only one to put him back together. I want him to chase me so that I can push him away, but I crumble when he touches me; when he so much as looks at me. I feel like Eminem and Rihanna in those songs, love the way you lie. That's just it...that's exactly it. We've scarred eachother deeply, but no one else can mend the cracks, repair the seams.
He gave me an ultimatum..all or nothing. I'm dying inside because the celebrity in me wants to say to him 'run along little boy, you're not needed here', but the me that he knows, the me that he wants...she wants to scream 'don't go!'...but she's lost her voice. I want to be able to give him a straight answer, I want to be able to say yes and jump head first into what could be the best thing to ever happen to me...but then again, the potential for heartbreak seems too great, and when it rains...dear God does it pour.
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